Sixty to Zero

I’ve lost the ability to relax.

Literally. If I’m not studying or taking care of little things like chores so I CAN study, I have no idea what to do with myself. Part of it is because all my hobbies are still packed up in a crate waiting to be delivered. My gi, my rock climbing gear, my sewing machine, my video games… none of them are here.  I don’t want to start any new projects because I KNOW I “don’t have time” for them, but then when I DO have an hour or two to spare, I sit around trying to figure out what do to with it and work myself into a ball of fuss. It’s maddening.

Take reading. I’m in the middle of “Redshirts” by John Scalzi, an incredibly fun and relaxing book, the perfect mind candy. Which I can’t read for more than the 15 minutes every night between collapsing into bed and passing out. My brain has lost it’s “reading for fun and pleasure!” setting. Every time I even pull a book off a shelf I have the reflect action of looking for a notepad and highlighter.

Maybe it’s a bit of burnout from last week being so intense. Maybe it’s the touch of homesickness that caught me this morning. Though it did help me find an amazing Polish-American diner with bottomless coffee and REAL pancakes within walking distance of the house. And THAT lead to some fantastic photos in the beautiful foggy morning.

I just have to keep telling myself I’ll adjust. I can already see massive improvement in my level of understanding on some subjects (EU law). There’s still plenty of room for improvement (hello, tort cases) but every time I work with it, it becomes easier.

All things in time.

Published in: on October 21, 2012 at 13:43  Leave a Comment  
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