It’s one of the things I’ve struggled with … well I’d like to say the last 12 months or so but the reality is most of my life.  I don’t mean the sexy-time variety of passion.  That’s fine.  Heh, better than fine, but we’re not going there.

No, I mean the creative, life grabs you by the collar and shakes you and says this is what you’re supposed to DO with your life!!! type of passion.

I haven’t had it.

This really bothered me.  It still does, some days to the point of tears and long introspective weekends on the couch with tea bothered me.  I felt like something was missing, that something was wrong with me because I hadn’t had that “click” that pointed me undeniably in a specific direction.

Last night I was on my walk.  I usually take a 5k ramble after work to collect my thoughts and sometimes chat with people on the phone – it’s more meditative than exercise.  I have my phone with me, and while I was grappling with this old saw an e-mail notification popped up for Richard Burlew’s Order of the Stick Kickstarter project.  (Which if you haven’t seen – GO.  I’ll wait.)

And then it hit me.  I don’t have ONE passion because I have LOTS of them. Climbing, music, aikido, boxing, sunlight, narration, costume, cooking, on and on and on and on.  I like lots of things, and therefore by definition I can’t stick with, or be the best at, any ONE thing.

I’m a cross-class character.  I have levels in multiple things, simultaneously.  My bonuses aren’t as high, but I can handle a wider range of situations better than any one min-maxed character.  It makes me resilient, adaptable, and flexible. It gives me endurance and fortitude.  It occasionally makes me neurotic and fills me with self-doubt, but then something catches my attention and I do as I have told others to do – I shut up and ROCK.

Now that I’ve had this realization, I’m not quite sure where to go with it.  Let’s face it, modern society isn’t lining up sing the praises of a jack of all trades, or financially support a dilettante.  I think this is part of why the steampunk movement appeals so much – it’s grounded in people who want to make things with their own two hands, be they instruments or societies, and when you oversee every part of the creative process you by nature have a wider breadth of skills.  I can think of a couple of places where cross-class individuals excel, but I’m not making any commitments or plans right now.

It would get in the way of band rehearsal.  And aikido.  And yoga.  And …

Published in: on February 9, 2012 at 13:41  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. *high fives you* Shut up and rock, climber girl:) Great post:)

  2. you read my mind….

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